Thoughts About My Mother & Motherhood

“You’re doing the washing on your birthday?” I was appalled. My mother was going to spend her birthday doing the family laundry. Such a thing was unthinkable to my five-year-old mind.

Vowing to my young self that I would never ever in all my life do the laundry on my birthday, I felt keenly disappointed in my mother for not planning her life better. A birthday is HUGE when you’re five, and I couldn’t imagine anything important enough to interfere with the day. For my mother, the washing was an all day labor—filling the Dexter washing machine’s double tubs with water, stirring up a pan of starch on one burner of the stove, warming a pan of bluing (to make the white clothing whiter) on another, feeding each item of clothing through the wringer from the wash tub to the rinse tubs, then pass- ing everything back through the wringer to the clothes basket, and finally hanging the wash on the line to dry—and to me, it was the most unbirthday-like thing anyone could possibly do.

Daryl Hoole pictured with her mother & little sister
Mother holding my sister Donette & myself 1940


It was years before I realized that maybe my mother wanted to do the laundry that day, even though it was her birthday. Maybe Mother wanted to have clean clothing for her family even more than she wanted personal pleasures. Lots of birthdays have come and gone for me, and it has become clear that life is not really about how much fun we can have on our birthdays It’s not even about whether we were the generation who used the double tub Dexter, or the previous one who hauled water from the spring, heated it over an open fire, and made their own soap; or the current one who just sets a dial and presses the “on” button. Life is about doing our duty, whatever it may be. It’s about serving those we love.

My mother loved me, that I knew. I have come to realize the unbounded blessing of having a mother who would sacrifice and serve me at the cost of her own pleasure. Her love was consistent, complete, and comforting. This experience and countless similar ones prompted me to write a magazine article some 60 years later in tribute to my mother and all mothers, entitled “Motherhood—A Calling, a Commitment, and a Consecration.” Excerpts from it read as follows:

President Gordon B. Hinckley warmed our hearts in the Relief Society General meeting in September 2003 when he paid tribute to women by saying, “My children are now all grown. Some are in their 60s. But when they call and I answer the phone, they say, ‘How are you?’ And before I can answer, they ask, ‘Is Mother there?'”

Yes, it is to mother a child turns for comfort with a skinned knee. A youth rushes home to mother to share news and later an adult child calls home for advice about a household matter or just to talk. Mother is the heart of the home.

And this is according to the grand plan. The Family Proclamation teaches that as divinely designed, the role of a father is to preside in the family, exemplifying love and righteousness; the father is also to be the provider and protector of his family. The mother is primarily responsible for nurturing and rearing the children.

Parents must work together as husband and wife and as equals in fulfilling these sacred obligations. Exceptions may be necessitated by the disability or death of a spouse. (See the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, “The Family- A Proclamation to the World,” 1995.)


There are some lines attributed to Victor Hugo which read: ‘She broke the bread into two fragments and gave them to her children, who ate with eagerness.

‘She hath kept none for herself,’ grumbled the sergeant.

‘Because she is not hungry,’ said the soldier.

‘No,’ said the sergeant, ‘because she is a mother.'”

In concluding this topic, we quote a insightful statement by President James E. Faust: “I do not believe that God’s purposes on earth will ever be achieved without the influence, strength, love, support, and special gifts of the elect women of God. They are entitled to our deepest veneration, our fullest appreciation, and our most profound respect. I believe angels attend them in their motherly ministry. “

Blessed is the woman to whom her work is a pleasure, By whom her friends are encouraged, With whom all are comfortable, In whom a clear conscience abides and Through whom her children see God. – Anonymous.

As we approach Mother’s Day, may this give you some time to pause and reflect about your mother.

Warmly,

Daryl

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